The Rule of Reciprocity: an
extremely powerful sales technique that plays on our nature as
human beings.
Basically, the Rule states that when you give something to
someone for "free," they're going to feel OBLIGATED to do
something for you in return ... even if it's something of much
greater value.
The problem is, most guys do things for women CONSTANTLY and
get NOTHING in return.
He didn't have a problem with meeting new girls, getting phone
numbers, and lining up dates ...
But he had a pattern of being blown off by girls AFTER the
first or second date.
This always surprised him. He thought these dates went pretty
well, and that he was laying solid groundwork. He expected to
see the girls again.
The girls wouldn't return his calls, or they would make up an
excuse about how "busy" they were.
Worst of all, some girls hit him with the dreaded line,
"You're a really great guy, but I just like you as a friend."
He told us about his most recent effort, with a girl named
Mandy. On the first date, he spent $100 taking her to lunch
at a nice sushi restaurant.
On the second date, he took her to dinner and a movie. He
chose one of the best Italian restaurants in town, ordered them
a bottle of wine, and spent $250 on the evening.
At the end of the night she just gave him a hug goodnight,
but Gary figured he was IN with this girl.
He assumed that on the NEXT date he would seal the deal... he
just had to "play it cool."
But when he called her to schedule date #3, she told him she
was "really busy" and wouldn't be able to see him that week.
So he called her the week after that and left a message.
Two weeks later, and she still hasn't called him back...
He was confused and disappointed. He was racking his
brain trying to figure out if he did something wrong.
It just didn't seem to make sense ...
"You'd think she would be appreciative!" he
complained to us. He knew that her ex-boyfriend
had been broke all the time. His idea of "dining out" was
taking her to Taco Bell.
And now along came Him, taking her to fancy
restaurants, spending money on her...you would think she
would be grateful, right?
WRONG.
He was actually making women feel UNCOMFORTABLE by
spending that type of money and showering such attention
on them.
Put it this way. Have you ever gone out for a meal with
an acquaintance (not a close friend), and at the end of
the meal, they grabbed the check and insisted on paying?
It's a pretty hefty bill, and you expected you would be
splitting the cost ... but they insisted on paying,
and wouldn't take your money.
When someone does this for us, we feel appreciative,
but we also feel slightly uncomfortable -- because
we feel indebted.
You feel like you want to buy THEM a meal, or something,
as soon as possible.
Owing someone is an uncomfortable feeling.
This is where He went wrong. He was spending
hundreds of dollars on a girl he was just getting
to know.
He thought he was impressing her with his generosity,
but it had the opposite effect. After that $250 date,
she gave him a hug goodnight and got out of there,
because the fact that Gary was spending that much money
on her made her feel uncomfortable.
When a guy shells out a substantial amount of money
on a first or second date, and he hasn't hooked up with
the girl yet, it can backfire on multiple levels.
She's thinking, "Gosh, if he's spending this much
money on dinner, he probably expects me to put out
at the end of the night..."
Or she's thinking, "There's no way I'm sleeping with
him tonight. If I do, he'll think I can be bought and
paid for... and that would make me slutty ... "
As a Mack, you've got to keep women in a comfort zone.
You never want her to think you EXPECT anything.
You project the sense that you are a man with many
options. You send the message that SHE needs to impress
YOU if she's going to deserve more of your time in the
future.
Spending more than $50 on a first or second date, or
taking women to elaborate places, suggests that YOU are
the one who is trying to impress.
It also telegraphs your interest, and when you do this,
women stop viewing you as a challenge.
So instead of taking her to dinner on a first date,
meet up for a drink or coffee. Hang out. Let her grow
more and more comfortable with you, stimulate her
attraction triggers, and work the process.
Once you've hooked up with her, and decided she might
be a "keeper," THEN you can take her out to a nice dinner.
Think of it as "rewarding" her.
When it comes to spending cash on women -- whether it's
paying for a drink at the bar, or buying an expensive
gift for a girl you're in a relationship with--always
think of it as a reward.
She has earned it because she has proved herself WORTHY
of your time and money.
Guys who flash money to women doesn't make
you originial. To women, you're just a dime a dozen.
In fact,
it's the guys who know how to cut through the small talk, and
stimulate a woman's emotions and imagination, who never go
home alone.
