3 steps to approach a woman

Most guys won't approach a woman. They are too scared. It 
is more frightening than hiking up Mt. Everest, or speaking 
in front of the White House Press Corps.

So, if you want real choice and power with your dating life, 
you're going to have to join the minority. That's right - 
you are going to have to seize the opportunities when they 
come your way and push through your fear.

Any guy can do it. This is not rocket science, or 
dismantling a land mine here. In fact, most women will give 
you the benefit of the doubt just for having confident to 
approach her.

Assuming you can get past your own fear (subtle challenge), 
here are some MUSTS for making your approach smooth. The 
idea is to make the process as COMFORTABLE for you and her 
as possible.

If you strike out, chalk it up as a "learning experience." 
Think about how you can make the next one better.



1) Casual: 

Looks much easier written down than when staring at the 
next Mrs. YOU. But, if you come on too strong to her at 
first, she's going to get frightened and defend herself. 

To start the conversation, be as casual as possible by 
asking her a simple question about your environment. 

Also, keep your body language as neutral as possible by 
not turning and facing her or leaning in to her. She is 
much more likely to receive your approach if you can 
prevent the words "something is up here, I can just feel 
it!!" from crossing her mind. 

Feel free to also look away as you chat with her. 

Again, you are reinforcing the casual-ness of the 
interaction. 

2) Playful: 

Lots of guys become Mr. Cocky when they approach women, 
which is a defense mechanism. Drop the cockiness, and show 
her your confident side by being playful. 

This is also called - FLIRTING - and is a MUST skill for 
guys who want to enhance their dating lives. You want to 
simply joke around, but stay away from teasing her - you 
don't know her well enough for that yet. Instead, point 
out the humor in your surroundings, or, even better, 
about yourself. 

The more self-effacing here the better. Let her know you 
don't take yourself too seriously. If you can master this, 
women will trust you. If women trust you, they will want 
to be around you. See where this leads? 

3) Personal: 

Last, but not least, at some point you have to let her 
know a little bit about you. Instead of relying on the 
standard diet of questions ("where are you from?", "what 
is your sign?"), answer these questions for her in the form 
of statements. 

Just drop them into your conversation: "Your sweater 
reminds me of my sister, though we are from the south, it 
gets cold around November. She used to wear something 
similar at Thanksgiving." In that statement alone, I reveal 
three facts about my life: I am from the south, I have a 
sister, and we gather at Thanksgiving. 

Suddenly, you are no longer a guy she just met at the 
café, but someone she is "getting to know".  

 There is a HUGE difference.

First Kiss and after...

It's true that most guys have massive questions in their minds around this issue of when/how to kiss her the first time. 

Some guys overdo it, which leaves a bad - er - taste in the 
mouth. 

And some guys don't go far enough: planting a nice 
gentle peck on the cheek when she's DYING for you to really 
kiss her! 

So, how can you be both sensitive and bold? How can you 
avoid these terrible labels: "tongue-slammer", "meek", 
"weak", and/or "sloppy"? 

First, WHEN is the right time? 
 1) I always tell guys that they usually can sense when it 
is the right time, but they have to learn to trust their 
instincts on it. 
 2) Here's a test - comment on her fragrance, and lean-in 
to her neck for a light sniff. Does she flinch when you 
get close? If so, she's not ready yet at all. 
 3) If you're still in doubt, allow the conversation to 
pause and just smile at her. Does she hold your gaze 
and smile back? If so, she is definitely ready. 
 4) What you want to do next is to subtly tilt your head 
towards hers. Then, subtly tilt it to the side. 
She should be mirroring you at this point. 

Slowly, your faces will reach each other, and your lips 
will touch.

You are now kissing. 
 This is NOT when you open your mouth and go for the full 
tongue-job. PLEASE guys - NEVER do that. 

Kissing is an art: LESS is more.  
 5) Now, when your lips touch for the first time - pull 
away a bit afterwards, and savor it. Be sure to ENJOY 
the fact that you are kissing this beautiful woman. 
 6) Next, kiss her again, but this time hold your lips 
together for a bit longer, allowing for MORE of the 
lips to touch. 
 7) Bring your left hand up and gently stroke her cheek 
while you gently/lightly kiss her. 
 8) At some point, it is fine to French kiss her, but 
do not overdo this. All you are doing here is gently 
touching/caressing her tongue with yours. Do not fill 
her mouth with your tongue...very very tacky. 
 9) If things become very passionate, definitely do the 
following: 

- Move your left hand to the back of her neck, and 
gently grasp with your fisted hand the hair at the 
nape of her neck. 
 - Gently pull it down, and not too far - just so it 
feels like there is the slightest pull from the scalp. 
 - This feels incredibly good, while also bringing your 
faces even closer together. 
 10) A nice touch is to subtly savor her lower lip by 
either nibbling it, or caressing it with your tongue. 
If you ever find that you're doing that, guess what... 
she LIKES you.

If this is a first kiss, end it after a minute. 
Don't let it turn into a long, drawn out make-out... 
particularly if it's in public. That's classless.

Your goal is to leave her wanting MORE. Be sure to be 
the one to end it by pulling away first, OK?

Builds sexual tension, out of Friend zone

the difference between how men and women judge SUCCESS
with the opposite sex is when a man is interested in a woman, he judges success
by how much physical contact he makes with her. (In other
words, how "far" he gets with her. First base... second
base...and so on.)

Women view the game differently. When woman is interested
in a man, SHE considers it a success when he confirms that
he is romantically interested in her.

What this basically means is, once you've made it clear
to a woman that you like her...and you're into her...she
feels that she has SUCCEEDED.

In a sense, she knows that she has already "won" the game.


Now, this isn't necessarily a bad thing. If the feeling
is mutual, and the two of you are both into each other,
then it's probably the beginning of a sexual relationship
and all the good stuff that comes with it.

The problem is that most guys BROADCAST their interest,
before giving the woman any reason to feel sexual attraction.

This means there is NO chance for sexual tension to build.

It means she doesn't view him as a CHALLENGE or a PRIZE.

She views him as JUST ANOTHER TYPICAL GUY who is eager to
get a girlfriend, or get laid, and it's up to her to decide
whether he's worthy of her time.


This is the WRONG approach. Unfortunately, I'd say 90%
of men broadcast this message to women: "You're beautiful,
I totally dig you, and I'd love to date you, if you decide
that I'm up to YOUR standards."

I've said it over and over again, and I'll say it
once more: what women love is a CHALLENGE.

Does she get the sense that you're a lonely guy, with not
much going on his life, and you're eager and willing to
date the first good-looking woman who gives you the time
of day?
Or, does she sense that you're "in demand?" That you've got
friends, a large social network that includes other women...
and there's going to be COMPETITION from those other women
we'd get to know each other, and she would always ask me, "So are you seeing
anyone right now?" (Or ask a similar question, to find out
whether I was "available," or "taken.")

Well, because I was eager to get a girl, I would always make
it clear that I was TOTALLY single. I'd say, "Oh, no, I'm not
dating anyone. I'm single, I broke up with my last girlfriend
a year ago."

I wanted her to know, if she was interested in me, I was
completely READY for a relationship with her.

That was the WRONG way to play it.

These days, I'll tell the girl, "I'm seeing some different
people on a casual basis. I'd like to find the right girl,
but I guess my standards are pretty high, and I've got a
very busy life right now."

You NEVER want to confess your attraction to a woman
before you've slept with her. 
Instead of telling her about yourself, trying to meet her
standards, make HER want to convince YOU that she's up to your standards.

Instead of being "eager to please," you'll learn how to
TEASE and CHALLENGE her (in a playful way) so that she
wants to "beat" the other women that are competing for
you.
Being a CHALLENGE to women is what builds sexual tension
and attraction. Give her the challenge she craves, and
she'll pursue you.

In control,be a Challenge; make woman said yes everytime

When women say they love a sense of humor, what they really
mean is they love the deeper ATTITUDE that a sense of humor
points to.

Guys who are funny, playful and nonchalant around women -- and

even better, can bust on women and tease them a little -- are

obviously confident and in control of their reality.

These guys don't look to women for approval.

They don't radiate anxiety. 

1. Women love men who present a challenge.
2. Women are fascinated by men who are "in demand" and
obviously have other romantic/sexual options.

Women, by nature, are jealous and competitive when it comes to
men. Give her the sense that she'll have to step up and WIN
you away from other women, and the game is on!

A playful, cocky guy radiates this attitude. 
The average guy takes himself WAY too seriously when it comes
to women, and is constantly asking himself unnecessary
questions:

"Does this shirt look good on me?"
"Is she going to get annoyed if I walk up and talk to her?"
"What if she has a boyfriend?"
"Where should I take her on a date?"
"What if we run out of things to talk about?"
"If I ask for her phone number, will she think I'm some
stalker?"
"Is it too soon to try to touch her?"

When you allow your brain to fire off these questions, it
DESTROYS your ability to be fun, spontaneous and playful.

You're allowing yourself to be preoccupied by unimportant
details, when you SHOULD be asking yourself questions that
boost your confidence and remind you to stay sharp and on
top of your game:

"This girl is cute, but is she interesting enough for me
to date?'

"Is she smart and funny enough to hold a conversation with
me?"

"What can I teach this girl, that she'd never learn from
the average guy?"

"What should I mention about myself, to really make this
girl curious about me?"

"How far am I going to take this tonight, and what's my
plan?" 
When you're getting to know a girl, and you make a request
that she can simply say "no" to, chances are she will:

Him: Can I buy you a drink?
Her: No.
Him: Can I have your number?
Her: No.
Him: Can I kiss you?
Her: No.
Him: Want to go back to my place?
Her: Hell no.
Him: Can I see you again?
Her: I'm pretty busy...for the next six months.

One technique is to rephrase your questions so that you
give women "false choices." This means you are not giving
her the chance to say "no." 
You are assuming that she's going to go with your flow, and
implying that.

Lead the interaction, and if she's at all interested in you,
or at least curious, she'll go along with it and never shut
you down with a "no."

WACK: Can I buy you a drink?

MACK: So tell me something interesting about yourself,
that's going to make me want to have a drink with you.
WACK: Would you like to dance?

MACK: I'm going to need to take you onto the dance floor. I
don't want you standing here looking like a wallflower.

WACK: Would you like to hang out sometime?
MACK: My friends told me about this new lounge that has
great music on Friday and Saturday nights. Which night is
better for you?

Remember: boring, ordinary guys are constantly asking
permission from women. This results in a lot of "No's," and
a lot of disappointment, frustration.