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Monday, 1 November 2010

Phone Guild Line

1.  No matter who answers the phone announce who you are, "Hi this is Juggler. Is Katie there?"
This shows you are proud and confident to be you and it establishes some rapport with a housemate or parent which can be used later.
(By the way meeting a girl with her parents is a very good situation. I use my parents routine which many times has gotten the folks pushing their daughter into my arms)
2.  If Katie is not there, chat up the person on the phone. "So what's your name? I'm not coming on to you or anything, as far as I know you could have three eyes and green skin but has anyone ever said you have a real sweet phone voice?" etc..
If this person asks to take a message after you ask for Katie, ignore it and ask who they are and begin to charm them.
Do not be in a hurry. This shows you feel you are not worthy of a person's time and shows a lack of confidence. Also, when you slow down, your delivery will improve with clarity and nuances in your voice.
I do not subscribe to the belief that you need to be the first to end the conversation. As long as you are being charming do not be quick to let this person go. Having said that, try to keep it to about five minutes with this person and do not feel bad if they have to cut you off. Many ASF people read way too much into what is alpha, supplication and all that. If you are being interesting it doesn't matter. On the other hand, if you have run out of material end the conversation.
I can not over-emphasize the worth of getting a person who shares her house to like you over the phone. It will make your life much easier.
2b. Try getting off the telephone without leaving a message. The best way is to just say something like, "Pleasure chatting with you XXXXX. Bye."
If she asks to take a message at this point just say, "Thanks but no message."
Of course Katie will hear you called but there will be a little mystery.
3.  Okay, you get Katie on the phone.
Do not ask her if she is busy.
Do not ask her what she is doing. Do not remind her where she met you.
Do not believe you need to be the first to end the conversation. That will make you rush and ruin your rap.
Talk slowly and confidently.
"Hi Katie. This is Juggler. You would not believe what my niece did yesterday."
Or "Remember how we were talking about the sexiest food and you said watermelon. Well I fed some watermelon to my cat and he is looking at me in the strangest way. . ."
Do not expect a 50-50 conversation. At least not at first. You will have to give it alot of momentum. Go right into material. (I define material as a funny story, patterns, an addendum to the conversation you had when you met the girl - whatever works for you.)
4.  Keep the charm flowing and return her to the fun, sexy mood you left her in. Slow down your delivery and put sensualness in your voice. DO NOT think about the close. Work to re-attract her.
5.  After fifteen minutes or so, the close should be easy. Almost an afterthought. Just talk about it as if it is already a done fact - hardly worth mentioning. Casual like, "Let's get together this week." Then shut up.
She will then recite her schedule and let you know where her free-times are. Pick out a day and time which will work for you. I don't want to make this post so long by typing up the details of why it is important for you to hear her schedule first or let her suggest times first. If someone really wants the breakdown on this let me know and I will post.
Some guys may think accommodating her schedule is supplicant. Maybe. Heck if I know. What is alpha, what's not alpha... Guys make themselves crazy thinking about that stuff. I just know my flaking is virtually nil.
6.  If she claims to be too busy to get together, either act like you didn't even hear it, go back into material and then try to re-close with different language or try to do something immediately, "Let's go for ice-cream. I can pick you up in ten minutes."
If that still doesn't work just say, 'Nice chatting with you." and let her go. Maybe repeat the process in a couple weeks or call other girls.
7.  In practice, if you put her in the right mood you will have very little problem arranging a meet. Half the time the girls will bring up a meet. Sometimes I'll just keep talking material and try not to arrange a meet. She brings it up a meet and I will just keep talking material. I like to do seemingly counter-productive stuff like that just to wallow in how effective good material is.
Always work on her mood. As an example, a couple weeks ago, I called this girl to re-confirm our meet. She had cancelled on me before. From the tone of her first few words I knew she was planning on canceling on me again. But I never gave her the chance. Went right into good material. Steam rolled her into a mood of laughing and fun. Her mind was then changed to, "This guy is making me laugh. I guess I'll give him a shot." I re-confirmed in a very casual way. We met up that night and she ended up sleeping over. I have since lost her. Too bad she was really a sweet girl. But that is another post.
One last word. In order to work the phone well, you must have confidence in your verbal abilities. Work on your tone. Work on you speed. Work on your material. Practice steamrolling your friends into a good mood.

Tuesday, 19 October 2010

Getting Woman's number by ask her email

THE CHALLENGE...

    I can still remember exactly what it was like
before I learned some of the secrets of how to
meet women.

    I have very clear memories of women that I saw
literally YEARS ago who I wanted to meet... but I
just didn't know what to do or how to do it.

    In some of the cases, I was actually talking to
the girl, enjoying a conversation... and REALLY
wanting to ask her for her number... but I just
didn't do it.

    But WHY?

    Why didn't I just say, "Hey, give me your
number?"

    The fact is that I was AFRAID.

    I was afraid that I'd say the wrong thing, or
that the woman I was talking to would say "no," or
that I'd offend her... or whatever.

    And I didn't know what would happen if I DID do
something. I was afraid of the unknown.

    Eventually, this led me to believe that there
was probably something wrong with ME - that I
should just accept and deal with it... and that
I'd probably wind up either alone or having to
settle for a relationship with a woman that I
wasn't attracted to.

    Ever been there?


THE REALITY OF THE SITUATION...

    Well, when I finally made the decision to learn
about how to meet women on MY terms, I made it my
goal to learn how to get women's phone numbers.

    I "naturally" assumed that if I was able to get
a woman's number, that would be the key. That was
the "hard part" to me. If I could approach women
and get their numbers quickly, I thought I would
be "The Man."

    So I went to work.

    Here's what I learned...

    To begin with, I learned that most women will
respond somewhere between "neutral" and "positive"
to being "approached" by a man.

    Explained differently, out of the hundreds and
hundreds of times that I've started conversations
with women and seen my friends start conversations
with women, I have VERY, VERY rarely seen a woman
respond by getting upset, saying something rude,
or acting offended.

    The typical worst case scenario is a woman not
even stopping and just walking away, or responding
coldly.

    And like I said, this is a typical WORST case.

    Another important lesson that I learned is that
when a woman responds in a way that is something
other than positive and receptive, it's usually
about HER, not about ME. In other words, either
she's not a nice person, she's not available,
she's in a hurry, she's in a bad mood, or
whatever... things that aren't within my control,
and that aren't my fault (or problem).

    I also realized that I was CAUSING a major
problem for myself without even realizing it...

    I used to have this idea that it would be
better if a woman didn't think that I was
"interested" in her. I thought that if I could
figure out a way to start a conversation and make
her like me because I was a "nice guy," then I
could somehow get her to see me in a "more
romantic" light later on.

    HUGE MISTAKE.

    Little did I know that women ASSUME that you're
interested in MORE than friendship from the very
beginning, no matter WHAT you do or say.

    So when you try to act all innocent and
friendly, like you just want to be friends, women
usually assume that you're HIDING something, or
that you're just another major Wuss Boy...

    This is a bad thing.

    I learned that it is FAR better to make no
excuses at all and NEVER try to cover up the fact
that you're approaching her.

    Later on, as you're talking to her over tea or
coffee, and you're teasing her, making fun of her,
and busting on her, SHE'LL start to wonder on her
own what the hell is going on... which is perfect.

    In the beginning, just be damn good at what
you're doing... and don't try to cover it up or
pretend.

    Pretending that you're a nice, friendly guy
who's only starting an innocent conversation is a
direct express route to an evening of self
touching.


THE GOODS...

    OK, so here are a few pointers when
approaching:

1) It's OK To Ask Immediately...

    It STILL amazes me that a woman will give her
phone number and/or email address to a guy after
only a minute or two of conversation... but it's
true.

    If you act cool about it, so will she.

    Do this: After talking for a minute or two say,
"I'm going to get back to my friends" (Or whatever
you were doing), and then turn away from her and
begin to leave.

    If you're getting ready to actually LEAVE the
place where you are (say you're at a bar, and
you're getting ready to go home or go somewhere
else), it's even BETTER.

    In that case say, "We're going to leave... it
was nice talking to you"... then turn away.

    Now, just after you break eye contact and turn
away, TURN BACK and say, "Hey!"

    She'll look back up, and be surprised...

2) Start With Something "Low Risk"

    ...as she looks up ask, "Do you have email?" in
a calm, normal tone of voice.

    When she says "Yes" - you say, "Great, give it
to me, I'd like to talk to you again."

    Then pull out a pen, and hand it to her.

    As she's writing down her email address, just
as she writes the @ symbol (in other words, in the
middle), say "...and write your number there
too...."

    Finally, tell her to write her name down as
well.

    Why do it this way?

    Good question.

-   At first you're asking, "Do you HAVE email?"

    This is a no-brainer. If she does (and most
women do), she'll say, "Yes." You're just treating
the "yes" as if she said, "Yes, I'll give it to
you..." It's a smooth, easy way to ask a "low
risk" question, and have a woman be the one to
MOST likely give you her information.

-   Email is considered "safe."

    I mean, what are you going to do, send her 100
emails a day? Ooooohhh, scary.

-   You're waiting until she's actually in the
MIDDLE of writing down her email for you to ask
her to also write her number down.

    This makes it FAR more likely that she'll give
you her number. At this point she's already
demonstrating to you and her that she's OK with
you contacting her again... and since she's
ALREADY writing, she's very likely to just KEEP
writing... her number.

3) The "Do You Have A Card" Variation

    You can also ask, "Do you have a card?" if you
choose.

    This is a classy, low risk way to ask a woman
for her contact information.

    Now, a lot of women DO NOT have cards, so
you're going to need the follow-up for when she
says, "No, I don't have one on me"... such as
"Well, invent one for me!"

    This is funny, charming, and smooth.

    Just take out a pen, and hand it to her.

    She'll know what to do.

4) Be Ready

    Probably half to two thirds of the time, a
woman will just write down her email for you.

    It's AMAZING how easily women will give out
their email addresses.

    But sometimes you'll meet with resistance.

    I can't go into all of the millions of possible
scenarios, but I will talk about the most COMMON
one.

    Probably a quarter of the time, a woman will
say something like, "I don't give out my email to
people I don't know" or "I don't even know you"
etc.

    This one used to REALLY stump me... until I
found a simple solution...

    Here it is: Just point to the paper, and say
"Write it down."

    If she keeps resisting, make a joke.

    Say, "It's OK, just write it down. I'll only
email you every five minutes for the next month."

    The SIMPLE "Write it down" works wonders.

    You'll probably overcome HALF of the "I don't
give out my email/number" comments with this one
simple answer. Use it.

5) Mentally Rehearse

    One of the greatest investments you can make in
yourself is MENTAL REHEARSAL.

    Take some time to imagine exactly what it's
going to be like when you ask a woman for her
email/number.

    Close your eyes, and picture a situation.

    Imagine how you're going to be standing, what
you're going to say, what she's going to say, how
you're going to take out the pen and hand it to
her, how you're going to answer any objections
that she gives you.

    Don't wait until you're in the situation to
realize that you don't know how to handle
something!

    You'll realize all kinds of great stuff when
you mentally rehearse.

    You'll be vividly imagining a great
conversation, then you'll get to the part where
you ask, "Do you have email?" and she says, "Yes"
and you say, "Great, give it to me, I'd like to
talk to you again..." and as you mentally put your
hand in your pocket you'll realize that you don't
usually carry a pen with you!

    Or you'll realize that you don't carry paper
with you.

    Or you'll realize that your pen is usually in
your jacket, which is usually on the back of your
chair, and not with you at the bar.

    When you mentally rehearse, you program
yourself for success. So just DO IT!

6) Don't Sell Too Far In Advance

    This is SUCH an important concept. Maybe even
the most important thing I'm going to say.

    When you're getting a woman's email and number,
DO NOT try to convince her to marry you on the
spot!

    Don't "ask her out."

    Don't tell her that your mom is going to love
her.

    Don't ask typical stupid questions like, "Do
you have a boyfriend"... and make it seem like
you're qualifying her for marriage.

    No, no, nooooo!

    As a matter of fact, the ONLY thing you want to
do is get her information.

    Many guys make the mistake of talking about
going out on a date, being interested, etc. or
tipping the woman off in some way that he's VERY
interested in her.

    This creates pressure and resistance. There's
ZERO mystery or tension created when you do this
stuff.

    All you have to say is, "I'd like to talk to
you again." That's enough.

    And by the way, when you DO talk to her again,
make sure you avoid the same mistake! Don't talk
future and relationship and marriage then either.

    Just take things to the next step, which should
be a simple thing like tea and stimulating
conversation.

    One small step at a time, and don't sell too
far in advance... ever. It only creates resistance
and nervousness on the part of the woman when you
hint that you're "interested" in a big way.