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Saturday 31 January 2009

NO Convince, Coax, Persuade

When a guy wants to be more than 'just friends' with a girl, this is what usually happens:

- He will usually convince, coax and worst still, PERSUADE her into seeing him as a potential boyfriend before making a move on her.

- His plan of action will usually be to 'be there for her' when she's in need.

- He'll be her intellectual whore, falsely hoping & attentively listening to her bitching about the guys in her life, carefully assuring her he'd make a better boyfriend than her current one.

- His actions are well-calculated, meticulously planned and when he sees the chance, he'll say something that goes like this...

And he'll quietly go under the radar, treating her extra nice, buying her stuff, 'offering emotional support', basically all the goody things to prove how DEPENDABLE he can be as a boyfriend...

The worst are those that'll just flat out bash the 'other' guy... "He's such a jerk, why are u still going out with him" "You clearly deserve someone better..."

- Confessed how madly you're in love with her and how you'd do anything for her

- Convinced her that you're the ultimate "nice guy" by being the sweet, gentle, and caring man she 'should' love?

- Persistently telling her, giving her the reassurance on how different you are from the other guys around, how you'll sacrifice everything, be there for her and give her the world?

- Act depressed so that she'll feel bad for you and "give you a chance"?

Basically any form of trying to reason and persuade why she should open up her heart and accept you... IT WON'T WORK!

You can't just "make" a woman "like you" or "change how she feels about you" by doing nice things, reasoning and trying to convince her into it... Because women aren't anything like us at all.

They don't suddenly wake up one day, make a logical, conscious decision and say "hey, he seems like a caring, sweet, nice man, I think it's time for me to fall in love with him."

Attraction is not based on logic and will NEVER be. A woman is either attracted to you or she's not. It just happens!

It's so common for guys make the mistake of thinking that they have to coax a woman they are friends with into seeing them as a potential boyfriend before making a move on her.

Think of the guy, for example, who attentively watches and listens as his gal pal wails over her current love life; and, then, assures her that he'd make a better boyfriend than her current one.

These are the most COMMON mistakes guys do... And sad to say, not only are these actions COUNTER-PRODUCTIVE, but it completely REPELS her further away making it less likely she'll EVER feel the same way for you!

Similarly, if you do something to let a 'friend' know how you feel... but she isn't ATTRACTED to you in the first place, she WILL run... and never turn back.

The solution then is to get HER TO LIKE YOU before she finds out YOU LIKE HER.

And to do this, you have to build ATTRACTION and COMFORT - the two biggest pieces

Never confess your feelings or try to persuade her to "feel" it for you.

Work instead on DEMONTRATING attractive qualities and generating ATTRACTION and seducing her into your 'trap.' To do this, she has to be attracted to you as a sexually attractive MAN.

Therefore, as a man, you should approach EVERY attractive female as a potential mate.

If you fail to impress her and see you as a 'potential' when you first meet her, it's most likely that you'll end up in her "Friend" zone. "

So what do women really want?"
What women say they want is not really what they want, because WHAT THEY WANT IS FOR A MAN TO GIVE THEM WHAT THEY WANT WITHOUT HAVING TO TELL THEM.

Example:
Want to know why sending flowers to women works for some?

It's NOT the flowers themselves that make her smile, but the GESTURE. It's proof that he THOUGHT about her that day. It's an excuse to brag about him to her friends.

It isn't the bouquet that matters; it's the TIME it took him to choose, buy and deliver them.

Want to know why some women go all excited when a guy brings them out on romantic dinners?

It's NOT that he was willing to spend the money on her, it's more the time, the thoughtful PLANNING he took to find out what she likes that struck her chord.

Social proof

Social proof it's a very powerful psychological trigger that can really influence the way people act.

As humans we do things based on what other humans do.

We are more likely to make a decision or take an action when we have seen PROOF that someone else has also made the same decision. The choice becomes that much easier when we realize people "just like us" (similar demographics) have made the exact same choices too.

It's like I'm walking to a football game to go to my seat and 40,000 people in front of me are lined up going through the gates waiting to enter the stadium. Instead of analyzing where to go , I'll just follow along with the crowd. It's sort of like monkey see, monkey do.

We are very, VERY much influenced by people around us, especially if we feel people around us are similar to us. And that's the underlying concept behind social proof.

Social proof is a powerful concept because, if we can subtly "demonstrate" to women that other women, just like them, are attracted to us, are interested in us, enjoy hanging out with us or they simply want us, they are more likely to make the same decision.

The fact is that women are VERY competitive creatures. Especially when it comes to men. The good news is that if you know how to take advantage of this, and BRING OUT that sense of COMPETITION in a woman, you will be able to make a woman feel STRONG feelings of attracting for you VERY quickly...

The bottom line is that this stuff is POWERFUL,it triggers ATTRACTION, and it communicates to a woman that you GET IT, AND it helps you to reach inside and touch a woman in a way she's always wanted, and in a way that she responds to powerfully.

Friend to Lover by make her Jealous

One of the FASTEST ways to turn a friend over to a LOVER is to make her JEALOUS.

You must make her see you as a MAN. And to do that, it's all a matter of building up your SEXUAL VALUE in her eyes.

So by showing that your interest is elsewhere (therefore making her jealous), you are effectively cutting off what she USED to have with you; the wonderful, happy times she spent with you, subconsciously, it'll make her *realize* that she DOES in fact, have feelings for you.

Let it be TOTALLY ON HER at that point to feel it, to think about it, to come to the conclusion on her own.

So what you can do is to specifically bring up another woman or a past experience with a girl in great detail.

Example: The next time you and your chick friend heads to the record store, pick out a one-of-a-kind bootleg Colbie Caillat CD.
She'll go, "You don't listen to Colbie."
And you'll smile and say, "I know, but this girl I met recently really digs her, and I know she'd love this."

She'll be impressed by your thoughtfulness, miffed that she doesn't score suitors like that, and wondering what this woman's got that makes you treat her so well. Here you're playing yourself up as a prime boyfriend material AND making her jealous at the same time...

Be extremely DESCRIPTIVE and GRAPHIC when you are relating your story to her- up to a point where she can actually picture your story in her mind- almost to the point of 'tasting' it.

Offer the vivid details until you can sense she starts getting uncomfortable. Tell her how Kathy's body is killer, talk about how Kathy has the most flawless features you've ever seen in a girl... Get her to have an image of how much fun the both of you had together, the teasing, touching, playing and all.
Tell her... "I was shocked when Kathy showed up at my office today with pizza. Gotta love her for that" Just keep it going whenever you're with her... "Kathy told me that the best deals are on the East side of town" "Kathy said the funniest thing the other day..." "I was picking up laundry last night and the owner was wondering where my girlfriend was... I was like who?? The brunette you were with the other day..." I was like ... what? Kathy? Oh please... I mean could YOU imagine both Kathy and me?"

Kathy, Kathy, Kathy...

Do it long, hard and subtle enough, and you're bound to see how she'll change when she's with you...

You will know if you were successful if:

- She tries to talk bad about the girl/s in some way. (It's her defensive mechanism).

- She suddenly goes into silence and appears kind of withdrawn - this is when she is reflecting

- She gets annoyed, agitated, pissed at you for bringing it up