3 steps to approach a woman

Most guys won't approach a woman. They are too scared. It 
is more frightening than hiking up Mt. Everest, or speaking 
in front of the White House Press Corps.

So, if you want real choice and power with your dating life, 
you're going to have to join the minority. That's right - 
you are going to have to seize the opportunities when they 
come your way and push through your fear.

Any guy can do it. This is not rocket science, or 
dismantling a land mine here. In fact, most women will give 
you the benefit of the doubt just for having confident to 
approach her.

Assuming you can get past your own fear (subtle challenge), 
here are some MUSTS for making your approach smooth. The 
idea is to make the process as COMFORTABLE for you and her 
as possible.

If you strike out, chalk it up as a "learning experience." 
Think about how you can make the next one better.



1) Casual: 

Looks much easier written down than when staring at the 
next Mrs. YOU. But, if you come on too strong to her at 
first, she's going to get frightened and defend herself. 

To start the conversation, be as casual as possible by 
asking her a simple question about your environment. 

Also, keep your body language as neutral as possible by 
not turning and facing her or leaning in to her. She is 
much more likely to receive your approach if you can 
prevent the words "something is up here, I can just feel 
it!!" from crossing her mind. 

Feel free to also look away as you chat with her. 

Again, you are reinforcing the casual-ness of the 
interaction. 

2) Playful: 

Lots of guys become Mr. Cocky when they approach women, 
which is a defense mechanism. Drop the cockiness, and show 
her your confident side by being playful. 

This is also called - FLIRTING - and is a MUST skill for 
guys who want to enhance their dating lives. You want to 
simply joke around, but stay away from teasing her - you 
don't know her well enough for that yet. Instead, point 
out the humor in your surroundings, or, even better, 
about yourself. 

The more self-effacing here the better. Let her know you 
don't take yourself too seriously. If you can master this, 
women will trust you. If women trust you, they will want 
to be around you. See where this leads? 

3) Personal: 

Last, but not least, at some point you have to let her 
know a little bit about you. Instead of relying on the 
standard diet of questions ("where are you from?", "what 
is your sign?"), answer these questions for her in the form 
of statements. 

Just drop them into your conversation: "Your sweater 
reminds me of my sister, though we are from the south, it 
gets cold around November. She used to wear something 
similar at Thanksgiving." In that statement alone, I reveal 
three facts about my life: I am from the south, I have a 
sister, and we gather at Thanksgiving. 

Suddenly, you are no longer a guy she just met at the 
café, but someone she is "getting to know".  

 There is a HUGE difference.

First Kiss and after...

It's true that most guys have massive questions in their minds around this issue of when/how to kiss her the first time. 

Some guys overdo it, which leaves a bad - er - taste in the 
mouth. 

And some guys don't go far enough: planting a nice 
gentle peck on the cheek when she's DYING for you to really 
kiss her! 

So, how can you be both sensitive and bold? How can you 
avoid these terrible labels: "tongue-slammer", "meek", 
"weak", and/or "sloppy"? 

First, WHEN is the right time? 
 1) I always tell guys that they usually can sense when it 
is the right time, but they have to learn to trust their 
instincts on it. 
 2) Here's a test - comment on her fragrance, and lean-in 
to her neck for a light sniff. Does she flinch when you 
get close? If so, she's not ready yet at all. 
 3) If you're still in doubt, allow the conversation to 
pause and just smile at her. Does she hold your gaze 
and smile back? If so, she is definitely ready. 
 4) What you want to do next is to subtly tilt your head 
towards hers. Then, subtly tilt it to the side. 
She should be mirroring you at this point. 

Slowly, your faces will reach each other, and your lips 
will touch.

You are now kissing. 
 This is NOT when you open your mouth and go for the full 
tongue-job. PLEASE guys - NEVER do that. 

Kissing is an art: LESS is more.  
 5) Now, when your lips touch for the first time - pull 
away a bit afterwards, and savor it. Be sure to ENJOY 
the fact that you are kissing this beautiful woman. 
 6) Next, kiss her again, but this time hold your lips 
together for a bit longer, allowing for MORE of the 
lips to touch. 
 7) Bring your left hand up and gently stroke her cheek 
while you gently/lightly kiss her. 
 8) At some point, it is fine to French kiss her, but 
do not overdo this. All you are doing here is gently 
touching/caressing her tongue with yours. Do not fill 
her mouth with your tongue...very very tacky. 
 9) If things become very passionate, definitely do the 
following: 

- Move your left hand to the back of her neck, and 
gently grasp with your fisted hand the hair at the 
nape of her neck. 
 - Gently pull it down, and not too far - just so it 
feels like there is the slightest pull from the scalp. 
 - This feels incredibly good, while also bringing your 
faces even closer together. 
 10) A nice touch is to subtly savor her lower lip by 
either nibbling it, or caressing it with your tongue. 
If you ever find that you're doing that, guess what... 
she LIKES you.

If this is a first kiss, end it after a minute. 
Don't let it turn into a long, drawn out make-out... 
particularly if it's in public. That's classless.

Your goal is to leave her wanting MORE. Be sure to be 
the one to end it by pulling away first, OK?