First, a note on scoring her digits: don't ask permission. Make swapping numbers seem like a completely natural step. After around ten minutes of conversation, take your phone out of your pocket and tell her,
"Let's exchange numbers, we should continue this conversation sometime."
Don't wait for a "yes" or "no." Just start programming her name in. Even better, mention there are some parties/events coming up that you want to let her know about. This makes you sound socially savvy and plugged in, a characteristic of Alpha Men.
"Let's swap numbers, there are some cool parties coming up that I want to let you know about."
If you've laid the proper groundwork, she's going to go with your flow. She'll give you her number, and you'll give her yours.
As the man, you'll be the one to make the first phone call--but swapping numbers, rather than just getting hers, makes it feel like a fair exchange.
Now, as you program her number in, say "I'll have some free time on _____ (name the day of the week two days from now). What's a good time to ring you?"
This eliminates any worries about disturbing her while she's in the middle of something, or calling too soon.
(Find out when she's available to talk two days from now, and call her then.)
NEVER ask permission for a girl's number.
You are comforting her with the idea that swapping numbers is a natural, harmless thing to do at this point in the conversation.
Some tactics to keep in mind:
1. No matter who answers the phone, announce who you are: "Hi, this is Mike. Is Sarah there?" This demonstrates confidence, and if a housemate or family member answers, you'll establish rapport with them. This can come in handy later if you meet them.
2. If they tell you she's not home, just ask for her to call you back. Don't go into any sort of explanation or mention that you want to make plans with her. It will only make her feel embarrassed when they relate the message to her.
3. Never call to chit-chat. Only call to plan a date with her, and have the game plan already in mind. Keep the phone call under five minutes. You'll have plenty to talk about when you meet again in person. Once the date has been set, tell her you're looking forward to seeing her and politely end the conversation.
4. Talk slowly and sound cheerful and relaxed. Your tone is very important. If you sound anxious and talk too fast, you're going to come off as desperate and over-eager.
5. If she doesn't answer, don't leave a message. In most cases she'll screen the message and "forget" to call back. Make the call in the afternoon, and if she doesn't pick up, call again in the evening. (If you don't get her on the line in your first two attempts, try again two days later. Still no answer? Forget her and move on, unless you've also got her email.)
6. Don't send her a text message instead of calling her. This is an obvious impersonal wuss move, and the flirty energy and tone of your voice is importantfor making her feel comfortable saying "yes" to the date.
7. So what about email? In this day and age, it does make a lot of sense to get her email as well as her phone number. Women are far more likely to respond to an email than a voicemail message.
Thursday, 24 April 2008
laid back on dates, see how things goes
There's a common joke amongst the players within our community that says that when a first guy meets a girl he likes, he'll instantly feel as if he's meta potential wife.
But when a girl comes across a guy she likes, she'll let cupid work its magic and see how things goes... That couldn't be more true.
Look around you. Haven't you noticed that when a guy first meets a girl he likes, he'll instantly think that she's 'the one'. He'll think that he's in love, that she has the potential to be the 'love of his life' even though he doesn'tknow ANYTHING about her at all??
Sounds crazy I know, but as irrational as it may sound,I've done it before myself, and I can pretty much vouch that you and practically 98% of guys has felt the same way too lol!
Why? Well, that's just how we men are wired to be but now that you're aware of it, it's absolutely crucial for you to STOP yourself from repeating the same mistake ever again!
Think about it. When you think you've met the 'love of your life',how will it make you feel? Nervous, anxious, over-excited?
Won't you do everything in your power to NOT to 'screw up'your chances with her, won't you become more CONCIOUS of what you'll be saying, acting and doing in front of her? Of course you would.
But can you see how much unnecessary pressure & tensionyou're putting yourself in then?
And the paradox to it all as that the more you try not to 'screw up' your chances, the more you'll end up screwing it worst than ever before!
Being 'safe', not taking chances and risks with women is BORING to women. Why?
Because that's exactly the kind of men that are hitting on them everyday!
Haven't you noticed how when a man first meets a woman he likes, he'll usually act all nervous, fidgity and overly anxious to impress his date?
He'll be thinking "Gosh you're beautiful, I'm soo into you,I just know you'll be a wonderful girlfriend. I'll do anything for you." Or even... "You're soo hot, I sooo wanna bang you"
On the other hand, you will be thinking "You're interestingto me. I'd like to get to know you better and we'll see how things goes." more laid back on dates.
So how's a guy supposed to act around women then?
Well, for starters, STOP THINKING THAT EVERY WOMAN YOU MEET MIGHT VERY WELL BE THE LOVE OF YOUR LIFE... duh!!
Looking for something, anything;her dress sense, her accesories, her handbag, her heels,her actions; whatever it is to bust on her (There's ALWAYSsomething you can focus on) and turn the tables implying how SHE'S the one who's screwing up her chances with me.
If she's local and I'm from out of town, and she wasn'tsure of her directions, I'll just shake my head and go"this relationship just isn't going to work out"
If she fumbles as she's pouring herself coffee I'll shake my head and go "this relationship just isn't going to work out"
Using the "this relationship just isn't going to work out" has never failed in doing 'the job'
As we're talking, when she accidently mispronounces, 'eats'or fumbles her sentences (this happens to all of us sometimes), I'll just shake my head again and just breath a playful sigh... "Are you ALWAYS like this?"
Can you see the point?
Doing the exact OPPOSITE of what most guys do. I'm saying "I'm here to get to know you but I'm also here to have fun. Still, I could care less what you think of me but I'm comfortable & confident enough to make fun of you so we'll see where this goes "
But when a girl comes across a guy she likes, she'll let cupid work its magic and see how things goes... That couldn't be more true.
Look around you. Haven't you noticed that when a guy first meets a girl he likes, he'll instantly think that she's 'the one'. He'll think that he's in love, that she has the potential to be the 'love of his life' even though he doesn'tknow ANYTHING about her at all??
Sounds crazy I know, but as irrational as it may sound,I've done it before myself, and I can pretty much vouch that you and practically 98% of guys has felt the same way too lol!
Why? Well, that's just how we men are wired to be but now that you're aware of it, it's absolutely crucial for you to STOP yourself from repeating the same mistake ever again!
Think about it. When you think you've met the 'love of your life',how will it make you feel? Nervous, anxious, over-excited?
Won't you do everything in your power to NOT to 'screw up'your chances with her, won't you become more CONCIOUS of what you'll be saying, acting and doing in front of her? Of course you would.
But can you see how much unnecessary pressure & tensionyou're putting yourself in then?
And the paradox to it all as that the more you try not to 'screw up' your chances, the more you'll end up screwing it worst than ever before!
Being 'safe', not taking chances and risks with women is BORING to women. Why?
Because that's exactly the kind of men that are hitting on them everyday!
Haven't you noticed how when a man first meets a woman he likes, he'll usually act all nervous, fidgity and overly anxious to impress his date?
He'll be thinking "Gosh you're beautiful, I'm soo into you,I just know you'll be a wonderful girlfriend. I'll do anything for you." Or even... "You're soo hot, I sooo wanna bang you"
On the other hand, you will be thinking "You're interestingto me. I'd like to get to know you better and we'll see how things goes." more laid back on dates.
So how's a guy supposed to act around women then?
Well, for starters, STOP THINKING THAT EVERY WOMAN YOU MEET MIGHT VERY WELL BE THE LOVE OF YOUR LIFE... duh!!
Looking for something, anything;her dress sense, her accesories, her handbag, her heels,her actions; whatever it is to bust on her (There's ALWAYSsomething you can focus on) and turn the tables implying how SHE'S the one who's screwing up her chances with me.
If she's local and I'm from out of town, and she wasn'tsure of her directions, I'll just shake my head and go"this relationship just isn't going to work out"
If she fumbles as she's pouring herself coffee I'll shake my head and go "this relationship just isn't going to work out"
Using the "this relationship just isn't going to work out" has never failed in doing 'the job'
As we're talking, when she accidently mispronounces, 'eats'or fumbles her sentences (this happens to all of us sometimes), I'll just shake my head again and just breath a playful sigh... "Are you ALWAYS like this?"
Can you see the point?
Doing the exact OPPOSITE of what most guys do. I'm saying "I'm here to get to know you but I'm also here to have fun. Still, I could care less what you think of me but I'm comfortable & confident enough to make fun of you so we'll see where this goes "
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