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Tuesday 3 November 2009

Preface of Date

When you're trying to score with a woman, you've got to eliminate her feelings of UNCERTAINTY.
Women have all kinds of reasons to NOT talk to us, to NOT give us their phone number, to NOT go on a date, and to NOThave sex with us.

And a lot of this is because they don't feel SECURE with you yet. So here's a real fast tip if you want to take a woman on a date... Don't offer to pick her up.

This might set off "red flags" in her mind. If she barely knows you, she might not want youto know where she lives. This is understandable. A lot of guys (not like you) have stalker-ish tendencies, and maybe she's been through this with a guy before. Or maybe she knows a girl who has. So if you barely know the girl, but you got her phone number, and now it's time to take her out, don't suggest picking her up. Here's what you do instead. Tell her to meet you out in front of your place. Give her your address, tell her to meet you out front at a certain time, and tell her that the two ofyou can "roll together" to the spot. (The bar, coffee shop, restaurant, party, etc -- wherever you plan on taking her tonight.)

She'll go for this suggestion because of two reasons:
A) It eliminates her fear that she's going to have to try to find the date location, and she might get lost. You're making it easy on her by suggesting that the two ofyou go there together.

B) She's probably going to be curious to see where you live. You didn't tell her that she'd be coming INSIDE your place.You only asked her to meet you out front. But still, she's curious to at least see the exterior of your pad. So now, here's what you do. When she pulls up outside your place, you go outside, as if you're all ready to go on the date, and ask her if she wants to take two cars, or if she wants to ride in your car.

Either way she answers, here's what you do next: you tell her that you forgot something back inside your place. You tell her you need to do back inside for a minute. And then you INVITE her to come in -- "just for a minute," you tell her. So, you bring her into your place, and you let her hang out in the living room for a few minutes while you go into the other room and pretend to be getting the item that you forgot.

And then, you go with her on the date. What was the purpose of this exercise? It's actually SUPER important. You showed her the inside of your home and you let her get familiar with it. It is no longer a strange environment to her. There is no longer a "fear of the unknown." At the end of the date, when you invite her back to your place, this doesn't feel SCARY to her because she has ALREADY been inside your home, and knows that it's comfortable and inviting. (But ONLY if your home is set up the right way, and even more importantly, it's CLEAN...all

It all comes down to FEAR OF THE UNKNOWN. Women are big on this. Guys are not! (If a girl was HOT, I would drive in the middle of the night to the WORST part of town just to get laid! I wouldn't care where she lived -- I was going for the sex!)

But if you invite a woman back to YOUR place... and she has never seen it before...maybe she worries that it's filthy, or that you have a bunch of roommates, or that it's too far away, or whatever...there all kinds of little "red flags" popping off in her mind about why maybe going to your place is NOT a good idea. And that's when she'll say, "Umm, thanks, but not tonight, I need to be up early tomorrow..."

Well, you AVOID all of this, and set her mind at EASE, when you "preface" the date by inviting her inside for a few minutes. Then, at the end of the night, when it's time to invite her home...it feels to her like a MUCH safer and more comfortable scenario, because she's already been inside.

Control the conversation

If you're like 90% of guys, you think conversation is about getting to know her, having her get to know you, and just being casual and laidback. Just go with the flow, right?

Well, NOT if you want to get results. If you want to GUARANTEE that you get her phone number and meet her for a date in the future ... or, bring her home TONIGHT ... you've got to get STRATEGIC with the way you converse with women.

Conversation is a TOOL that is going to get you where you want to go. This means no more awkward silences, while you wonder what to say next ... or feeling phony because you're relying on some stupid "pickup routine"

As a MAN, you're going to CONTROL the conversation and guide it along. You're not just talking aimlessly, going with the flow, chatting about whatever topic she brings up.

There is going to be a definite PURPOSE to every conversation you initiate with a woman, and a RESULT you are steering it towards.

It SEEMS like a normal conversation ... on the surface. The woman doesn't suspect anything out of the ordinary: he just seems like a cool guy who has interesting things to say. But under the surface, he is executing a game plan. He is building a RAPID CONNECTION with her. He makes her feel a level of COMFORT with him that the average guy couldn't create, even after spending hours with her!

Create a sense of COMFORT and FAMILIARITY. Think about the POWER and CONFIDENCE you'll have as you're out with women. Women can "sense" these "things". ... and they'll *secretly* love it to death! It makes them feel safe, secure; being with a REAL man,at the same time, feeling all *girly girl* inside.

ALL of the steps that go into making a successful approach, building a bond, establishing comfort and rapport, and leading the encounter towards "closing the deal."

For now, let's run down a few key pointers: Keep the spotlight on her. Women love a man who listens and appreciates what she has to say. The more details she shares about herself, the stronger the connection grows. (It's all about knowing how to ask the right questions. Phrasing is everything.)

Cut through the small talk and take it to a deeper level. Don't get stuck talking about jobs. Mention the things you are most passionate about, and get her to share hers. (Get her to reveal a goal or a dream of hers, and be encouraging and supportive, and you're really in the door ... )

If you're passionate about your work, that's great. But don't dwell on the present. Talk about future possibilities. And remember, if you're not yet where you want to be, in terms of money and success, you can generate strong attraction from women if you show AMBITION and PASSION. (The Women Persuasion Mastery Program has an amazing section on this as well)

an ambitious, passionate guy makes her feel, "this guy's life is on an exciting, positive track. It would be cool to be a part of it." Maintain a sense of MYSTERY.

During the initial conversation, it's best to leave questions about yourself unanswered. Make her want to find out more.

Here are some examples...
Which sounds better?
"I work at a restaurant." Or...
"I work in the restaurant industry. Right now I'm learning all I can about the business, because a few years from now I plan on opening my own place. It's always been a goal of mine.
What about you...I get the sense you're an ambitious person, is there a goal you're working towards right now?" (Here, you demonstrated ambition and passion, then you turned the spotlight back onto her.)

Which sounds better?
"I'm between jobs right now..." Or...
"I'm checking out a number of different business opportunities right now, I like to stay busy. What about you, how do you spend your days when you're not working?"

Or, you might have achieved some success in your career. In this case, don't boast about it or go into detail. Just ALLUDE to the fact that you're a sharp, successful guy with even bigger things on the horizon.

Positive can be phrased so that it BUILDS YOU UP in her eyes.